Why my BFF means the world to me
It feels weird but I'm actually crying while typing this post but I've had a lot on my mind recently (I don't even know what and why exactly) and I feel so down these past few days and I just needed quite some alone time. I can assure you tho, that every blog post I create, I don't create for the sake of having something to post, but instead, I create it because it's what I feel. Especially this post. Everything I'll be saying here comes directly from my heart and like I said, I'm crying my heart out as I type this.For some (unknown) reason, this week all I've been feeling is down. Like, I just really want to be alone. I feel like I have the world's weight on my shoulders and I myself couldn't figure out what's bothering me. Mood swing, perhaps?
But this very day, I met up with a friend to hang out and chat and we got to talk about my best friend. I always love talking about her because she means a lot to me. She has been by my side for almost 15 years and no one understands me better than she does. *eyes clouding up*
My friend said that I'm like the sun in our (my best friend and I) friendship. I said no, I'm more like the moon and my BFF is the sun and she lights me up. My friend said I am the moon and the sun. As we speak, I am the moon because (dear friend, correct me if my memory is wrong) I am dull, and I look like I carry so much weight on my shoulders but when I'm with my BFF, I shine so brightly like the sun. My smile is so genuine when I'm with her.
Talking to this friend of mine, at some points I almost teared up. I tried my best not to and was successful but I failed at one point: when my voice started to shake.
My friend asked me this question: What do you think your life would be like if she *knocks on wood* disappeared?
I know the answer. I would be lost. I would be lost without her. But the thought of her completely disappearing from my life is what made me crack a little bit inside. I can't ever imagine a life without her.
She means more to me than anyone else. I must have done something good in my past life to be given a best friend such as her. She is worth more than all the riches this world could give you. She is my other half.
It's true, you don't need a person of the opposite sex to call your true love. I found my true love. I found her. And mind you, there's no homo in this relationship. She is my sister, my partner in crime, my soulmate. She is "The One."
I'm happy because I myself know that I'm very difficult to understand. But her, she understands me. Even better than I do, myself. For 15 years, this girl had been by my side without any kind of motive but just to be there for me when I need her or not. We can not talk for years (we've been through that) but that won't make us drift apart. We are best friends for life. Even after death.
So, Sarrah Jane Pagaduan, my BFF. If you're reading this, I want you to know that I do love you with all my heart. You have been with me during my worst, and also during my best. I don't know why I was given someone like you. You mean so much to me, and I want the whole world to know that. I wouldn't be where I am now, and I wouldn't even be me if it wasn't for you. You make me a better person. Thank you for loving me, for caring for me, and for understanding me throughout the years. I love you.
I'm sorry if this post is long, I just needed to get this out of my chest and I also needed a good cry.
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