Why I don't want to fall in love right now

7:27 AM Kristine 2 Comments

I'm a stupid girl when it comes to love. We've all been stupid in love at one point. It's just that I feel that I'm still to naive when it comes to love. I still make mistakes such as confessing too early on, or even showing my attraction towards a person too much.

I don't always allow lots of people know who I like but when I do (which is rarely), I'm tellin' ya, that means that the person has been denied by my heart quite a few times but I still find myself falling in love. I hope you guys get what I said...

Let me rephrase that for better understanding.

When I go public about the person I like, this is what happened inside my head/heart:

I like him! ♡
I can't fall in love.
I don't like him.
...I like him.
♡
I don't like him.
I don't like him...
Maybe I do...?
NOOOOOO!
Okay, I do like him TnT

And that, my friends, is when I know I'm in love. Usually it'll stop at number 3.

I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE RIGHT NOW!

I'm so busy enjoying my life right now especially with all these opportunities coming at me. I mean, I would want a boyfriend of course. To care for me, to comfort me when I need a shoulder to cry on, to hug me, to talk to the very first thing in the morning and right before I'm about to sleep. But I can't handle the responsibility of looking after someone else when I can't even balance my life right now.

In my last post, I explained how much I loooove skinship and the only way I can get that is if I had a boyfriend. *sobs*

But when I think about having a boyfriend, I don't know, I suddenly just sigh like, I just don't. lol I am so confusing.

I'm also scared of getting hurt, or just stressing and crying over someone right now. And while we're talking about stress, I also have too much problems on my hands right now and I'm getting really stressed over it and just so you know, I have low tolerance for stress. I don't think if I had a boyfriend right now he would be happy about me crying and crying because I'm so stressed. Okay, yeah, that's what a boyfriend is for, to comfort you and make you happy but I can't promise that I'd be giving my all to a boyfriend right now because like I said, there's so much happening in my life right now, I don't want a one-way relationship either.

Maybe when I get bored with my life, or I want to relax from it, then I'd be ready for a boyfriend. I don't know, I really don't know. What I do know is that a boyfriend will come at the right time. He will be the right person for me, and he will support me and accept everything about me. I just have to be patient. I'm not rushing anyway.

Right now, I am focusing on ways to level up myself. Like getting a stable job, or learning to be more confident, I don't know. But I want to be at my best when I meet a potential boyfriend. It's okay if that person meets me at my worst and loves me then tho. He deserves to see me at my best. AAAAHHHH. I don't know. Boys, boys, boys. I have no time for you.

The reason for this post is because I have a big crush on someone aaaaand I want to get rid of these feelings. I really don't want to be in love. I'm not ready. Heart, pls stahp.

I'm gonna take my meds. Specifically:

waifuuuuuu ♡

Speaking of Hyuna, I suggest you guys to listen to this song from her new album "A Talk," it's my favorite song from her album and at the moment:

stay connected

2 comments:

AnonymousSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:22 PM
You shouldn't left your boyfriend (yes, this bitch has a boyfriend) for 3 (f*cking) years just for the reason that you're not yet ready and you're too busy enjoying your life and all the opportunities coming to you.

Geez, that boy almost gave his life (and not to mention, his wealth) to you, and you just dumped him like shit. Grow up.